Spending our Saturday (Aug. 23) night recapping "Big Brother 4" offered one brief moment of consolation in that host Julie Chen, wearing a cool blue top and white slacks, had to work as well. Except for two things: 1) She gets paid a lot more than us, and b) At this point we have no idea what's happening when and more than likely everything we're telling you about actually went down on Thursday or Friday before Miss Julie turned off her cell phone and drove up the coast for the weekend.

In case you've missed two or three or more episodes, the show has been teasing a shocking surprise or some such for weeks now. Finally, tonight the "first in a series of twists and turns" is revealed even though only half the house is still in residence and we've yet to have anything thrown our way that makes any of these people remotely interesting.

Of course, first much time must be wasted with the documenting of Robert's nervous habits (which look a lot like what we imagine physical Tourette's Syndrome would entail); the revelation that Jee enjoys the musical stylings of Richard Marx; Alison is -- in Jun's words -- "a whack job"; Erika and Jun are the only two houseguests who don't really mind the cameras watching them 24/7; Jack was devastated when he looked at all of the FBI's evidence and determined Lee Harvey Oswald really, truly acted alone; and the Head of Household room appears to have come from the same mind that designed the diaphragm (trust us on this last one, check it out on Tuesday).

There's a "you've got to be kidding me" point when it appears that the surprise "Big Brother" has in store is the relocation of the Desert Room residents to the IKEA room and repossession of the house turtles Cuff and Link, but that's just more filler.

While not that boring, the twist does ultimately end up being rather mundane. Miss Julie announces that this time around the Golden Veto competition will be held before Head of Household Jee makes his nominations, but the results won't be revealed until after he makes his nominations.

Oh, no. Whatever will they do?

One-by-one the houseguests are called into the Diary Room where Miss Julie offers them a deal with the devil: he/she will receive the Golden Veto on the condition that they sentence all of his/her fellow inmates to a diet consisting entirely of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for the remaining month or so they have in the house.

It's a good thing the "Big Brother" house isn't inhabited by a bunch of 10-year-olds. Can you imagine? "No, please don't throw me in the Briar Patch with all that PB&J."

All of the houseguests decline Julie's offer. She then shortens the time to two weeks. Still they hold strong. Finally, she takes it down to a mere week. At this point, Jee caves and takes the offer since he wants to assure his nominations aren't messed with above all else.

This is stupid for several reasons. First off, due to botched food challenges, Jee's biggest ally in the house, Robert, has had more than his share of the offending foodstuff and is willing to leave now rather than endure any more. Then, as Erika points out, this little act puts a giant target on Jee where there wasn't one before. And finally, as anyone who has watched this show before will tell you, if he had refused the offer the next round in the competition would have undoubtedly had a monetary bribe attached to it.

Amazingly, all this nonsense manages to fill an entire hour. Since the Veto Competition was held on Saturday, nominations won't be made until Tuesday. After all, there's only so much fun a single episode, or viewer, can handle.